5 Steps to Becoming Your Own Best Friend

5 Steps to Becoming Your Own Best Friend

I recently wrote a caption that read "Once you become your own best friend, you are virtually unstoppable." This is because it means that you have connected with, and are choosing to move toward, your highest self.

Your highest self is essentially the opposite to your ego. Your ego is built out of fear and a need for safety, resulting in you staying small and refrained. Your highest self, therefore, enables you to stretch the realms of possibility, with a deep, inner-knowledge that everything will work out. Your highest self is derived from love.

So how do you tap into your highest self, learn to move from a place of love, and become your own best friend? I'd like to share five tips that have helped me on my personal journey:

1. Spend time with yourself

How do you know if you like anyone? You spend time with them. And how do you know if you really like someone? You both share a level of vulnerability, and your love and respect for that person does not wither. In fact, you might find it accelerates as a direct result of your ability to relate to one another. You might also feel a sense of admiration for the way they have managed their personal challenges.

When it comes to loving you, you don't have to worry about compatibility. You get to do whatever tickles your fancy. It all starts with a willingness to show up.

And when it comes to being vulnerable, schedule time to check in with yourself daily. If you are an early bird like me, you'll know that you are better at being held accountable in the mornings. You see the sunrise and seize the day; carpe diem and all. Alternatively, if you consider yourself more of a night owl, you might find it better to use the evenings for a time of reflection.

The journal that I have found a massively helpful is called "The Inner Queen, No Ordinary Journal" and it is designed to be a pocket-sized personal life coach. Of course, we are all different, and this might not be the best fit for you, especially if you have an inner King instead of an inner Queen. You may wish to shop around before putting through your order. Find a journal that works for you!

Journal link: https://www.meganroselane.co.uk/journal/

2. Speak to yourself like you would speak to a friend

There's a quote I like that says "You spend so much time in your head, at least make it a nice place to be."

Feng shui that shit. Add some plants, buy a salt lamp, light some incense.

I used to be a chronic over-thinker, and my own worst enemy, so I get that this change doesn't happen over night. Once you start noticing the thoughts that don't serve you, you can begin to switch up the narrative in your head.

We often limit ourselves or put a cap on what we think we deserve and can achieve in life. However, if a friend wanted to pursue their passion or chase their dream, you wouldn't shut them down and tell them not to bother. Instead you'd be cheering them on, offering words of encouragement. Should things go downhill, as they sometimes do in life, you'd lend a supportive ear. Encourage your own success in the same way. 

3. Give yourself advice...

... and then take it.


I know right, *eye roll*.

We love to give advice, especially when we are not emotionally involved in a situation, and the path to take seems so strikingly obvious. But when it comes to taking our own advice, we'd much prefer to take the more scenic route (which in reality isn't all that scenic - it's more long-winded and a little bumpy!)

This point goes hand in hand with speaking to yourself in the same way that you would speak to a friend. If there is something you are particularly struggling with at the minute, or could use some guidance on, write it down. Seriously, do this exercise now if you have a pen and paper handy or a notes section in your phone.
Once you have written out the problem, read it back to yourself as though a loved one has come to you with this dilemma. What would you say to that person? How could you help them to feel better about the situation? What proactive steps could they (you) take?
We want to see others be happy, flourish and thrive. Do not forget that you are so deserving of that same love.

4. Embody gratitude

I follow a wonderfully inspiring lady on Instagram, @victorianiamh, who recently highlighted that the probability of you or I existing at all is 1 in 10[2640,000] which is the number 10 with 2640,000 zeroes following behind.

Well if that doesn't make you feel fucking magical, I don't know what will! 

The best way to do justice to this precious life that you are living is to do the things that bring you the most amount of joy, the things that light you up inside and also the things that make you feel most connected.

Remember, we are all connected to one another. This is what it means when people say 'namaste' in yoga; it simply means "The light in me recognises and honours the light in you.”


5. Take care of yourself

Taking care of yourself means taking care of your mind, your body and your spirit.

Continuing on with the theme of yoga, my favourite way to combine all three is through my daily yoga practice, which I aim to do each morning before I have conversations with others or start work.

Other ways to take care of yourself could include:

  • Taking vitamins and keeping hydrated
  • Making yourself a cup of tea
  • Exercising
  • Getting a decent night's sleep
  • Reading
  • Eating nutritious foods and also knowing it's OK to enjoy comfort food too
  • Meditating
  • Taking a course

Whether you are a glass half-empty or a glass half-full kind of person, it is important to remember that the glass is always refillable.


Written by: Becky Shoon

Instagram: @beckyshoon

Click here to read more from Becky!

1 comment


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