Anxiety is a beast to tackle on its own. Add in a significant other, and you have a recipe for disaster. Anxiety loves to latch onto relationships, and convince you that something is “off.” As fears and unfounded concerns overwhelm your mind, you may grow distant from your partner, and your true identity. Below, I’ve listed 7 telltale signs that your anxiety is taking the reins on your relationship.
1. You’re only happy when you’re with your partner.
If you only find joy when you’re with your partner, and feel anxious or down when they are not with you, you may be suffering from relationship anxiety. Your happiness should not be wholly dependent on the presence of another person. Anxious people often latch onto their partner as a source of emotional regulation and stability, and then fall into unhealthy habits when alone. It’s important to maintain your mental health on your own terms!
2. You doubt your partner’s feelings for you.
Needing constant reassurance, and doubting whether your partner truly wants to be with you, is a sign of relationship anxiety. Anxious people often feel uncertain about their place in a relationship, and require extra validation and support. However, constantly expressing doubt about your relationship, unprompted by any valid concerns, may spell disaster for a relationship.
3. You constantly worry about being blindsided.
An anxious person naturally fears the unknown. They fear the worst possible outcome, such as your significant partner randomly up and leaving, without a warning. These fears remove you from the present moment, and make it difficult to truly engage in a relationship, as you are always worried about the future.
4. You self-sabotage the relationship.
If you find yourself constantly picking fights and testing boundaries, this may stem from underlying relationship anxiety. As you grow closer to your partner, you fear them leaving, and begin to self-sabotage to remain in control. This most certainly will lead to the downfall of any relationship, and must be stopped before you push your partner out of your life.
5. You always “miss” the good ol’ days
If you constantly romanticize the past, you may be suffering from a case of relationship anxiety. Anxious people tend to romanticize any moment but the present, as they suffer from stress and uncertainty. The beginning of a relationship is often easier for an anxious person, as there is less to be lost. As a relationship moves forward, and becomes more serious, they begin to fear the future of unknowns.
6. You constantly worry about relationship dynamics
Why didn’t they call me first? Who’s putting in more effort? Why didn’t he kiss me good-bye? If you are constantly caught up in the nitty gritty of a relationship, it is absolutely impossible to remain present in the moment. Criticizing your partner for these small matters will create distance and resentment.
7. You doubt your compatibility.
As an anxious person, you may constantly doubt if this is the “right” relationship to be in, or if you have long-term compatibility. While it’s important to think about the future in a long-term relationship, remaining present is also critical to your happiness! Unknown variables will always loom in the future. Constant doubting may wreak havoc on your relationship, causing you to push your partner away.
If you fear anxiety may be ruining your relationship, click here for some helpful tips and tricks! Please remember that relationship anxiety is completely normal; lot’s of anxious people are in healthy and happy relationships! You can overcome this.
Written by: Brianna Rauchman