How to Make Positive Decisions for Yourself

Advice is a guide or recommendation for prudent action towards the future. It can be beneficial in certain situations to seek outside help if you are struggling with a certain issue. However, it isn’t always necessary to seek advice to make decisions in life. When you know what's best for you, you'll stop seeking advice or seeking opinions from others so frequently. 

Let me start off with an important disclaimer. I am not encouraging you to never ask those you love for advice. Sometimes, however, you may open up to a family member or close friend, and receive advice you don’t agree with. We all have opinions! You must remember that first. While people may have different outlooks, you are under no obligation to follow their guidance, or reveal what is going on in your life. 

Whenever you are experiencing problems in your personal life or relationship, try waiting before discussing these issues with loved ones, such as your parents or siblings. Oftentimes, they have a biased perception and will automatically take your side since you are family. It is a good thing that they want to protect you and your feelings. Even so, it is important to respect your partner, and not allow outside influences dictate your relationship. The only exception to this rule is if you are in real danger. Emotional and physical abuse should never be tolerated. 

If you plan on opening up to someone for advice, you don’t always have to follow their wisdom. In the end, only you can decide what’s right for you. Your path is yours to choose. In my experience, I've found that I struggle to accept outside advice, so I mindfully select what information to share with my family. This provides me a certain amount of autonomy, while still keeping them in the loop. While I love my family, they cannot always help me make personal life decisions. What I choose to reveal is my choice. 

And when you do ask others for advice, be aware that the advice they give you may be motivated by their personal experiences and perspectives. If you want an unbiased opinion, talk to a therapist. As an objective source, the therapists intently listen to you, without considering other external factors. 

I turn to my therapist when I feel that my family won't be helpful with my personal issues. I sometimes feel as though I'm quickly silenced by family members, and don’t get a chance to convey my story. Before offering you solutions, a therapist will listen to you and let you speak. 

Whether it is from a therapist or a family member, you are not obliged to follow the advice that is given to you. In the end, it is your life and your choices. Don’t live a life to satisfy others - satisfy yourself. Be considerate of how it will make YOU feel. Having a positive emotional mindset is something I strive for every day. A healthy mental state means thinking for yourself. You alone know what's best for you. Take your time and make sure your decision is one that you're happy with!  

Written by: Audre Arnett