Do NOT Do This After a Break Up

Woman and man sitting back to back holding broken heart

If you’re reading this, you’re either going through or have gone through a really bad break up. First of all, I am so sorry for the pain, but I am so excited for your future. I saw a post once that said “congratulations on your break up.” I know it sounds like a weird thing to say, but when you really think about it, it makes sense! You break up with someone, whether it be a friendship or relationship, because you’re unhappy. So if you’ve gotten out of something that made you unhappy, that’s something to celebrate and to be proud of yourself for! Although it may feel like the end of the world sometimes, it’s definitely not. There’s so many blogs and articles about all “how to get over your ex” highlighting the things that you should do when you get out of a relationship, but we rarely see any advice about what not to do. So let's get into it

1. Do not lock yourself in your bedroom. Definitely give yourself the time to grieve and process your feelings, but once you are done, get outside. In fact, get outside even before you’re done healing - it will speed up the process 100%. Feel the sunlight on your skin and take yourself out for a nice meal. Remind yourself that though your heart is broken, the world is still turning. It is tempting to eat ice cream in bed and cry your eyes out 24/7, but it will only drown you in your feelings and make it harder for you to move on.

2. Do not cut off your friends. Lean on the people that are there for you, because they care about you and want to help you through this difficult situation. Take them up on that offer to sunbathe or shop; open up to them to unburden yourself from your pain. 

3. THROW IT AWAY.  Do not hold on to the painful memories. Get rid of their old shirt that’s hanging in your closet, and stop looking through your old couple photos. It sounds so much easier said than done, but “out of sight out of mind” is a powerfully true statement. If you dwell on the past and surround yourself with the memories, it will be difficult to truly heal. 

4. Do not contact them. This is a personal hot take that I stand by 100%. No matter the situation, whether it ended on good or bad terms, contacting them or stalking them on social media will only hurt you. While every couple is different, and eventually maybe the two of you can be friends, in the fresh stages of a break up, closing that line of communication will help you move on easier and prevent further heartache. If something is over, you need to treat it like it is over so you both can heal and process in a way that is healthy - NOT like you’re holding the door slightly open for them to romantically reenter your life. 

5. Avoid putting the blame on yourself. Relationships are a two-way street and nothing was entirely anyone’s fault. Things happen, and unfortunately in life we can’t always control the circumstances. When one door closes, another opens. Your future is bright and you are so deserving of unconditional love.

6. Avoid posting about it on social media. Bad mouthing your ex on social media can open a can of worms and cause more hurt than healing. Plus, it’s simply not a good look. Avoid stalking their social media and monitoring what they are doing. Focus on yourself, heal offline, and don’t post or say anything you will later regret. 

Overall, Remember to keep your head up and stay strong through this difficult journey. Being single is a wonderful time to really discover new parts of yourself. When you’re single, you should essentially treat it like dating yourself. Take yourself on cute outings, compliment yourself daily, get to know what you truly like (and don’t like), learn all about yourself the same way you would learn about a potential new partner. At the end of the day, you will always have your own back! Invest in yourself, and the rest will fall into place. 

Written by: April

Instagram: @aprll

1 comment


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