7 Signs You’ve Outgrown a Friendship

7 Signs You’ve Outgrown a Friendship

Through all the seasons of life, friendships rise and fall, as people impact you in ways you didn’t believe possible! These relationships are all unpredictable; someone you believed to be your best friend may slowly distance themselves. That one random lab partner from freshman year may end up being a life-long friend! Either way, it’s important to acknowledge that friendshsips have a natural ebb and flow. Losing a friend isn’t necessarily a negative thing; sometimes you’ve simply outgrown each other, and are moving on to different phases of your life. If you’re currently questioning the status of a friendship, check out these 7 warning signs that you’ve outgrown your bond: 

1. You are both always too busy to make plans.

If you really wanted to see this friend, you’d make the time to connect. This flakiness is symptomatic of an underlying indifference. The truth is, you no longer care to see your friend, or catch up on their life. This doesn’t mean you didn’t truly care for this person at one point or another! However, you sense the growing distance, as texts go unanswered, and plans are left up in the air. 

2. You always talk about the past.

With nothing new to connect about, your relationship is centered around past memories. You find yourself incapable of being present with your friend, as you are constantly caught up in reliving the good ol’ days. Due to your lack of emotional connection, it’s hard to make new memories. 

3. You constantly fight.

As your mindsets and lifestyles take off in opposite directions, you find more tension brewing in your friendship. Disagreements consistently arise, and there seems to be no solution to your issues. It’s no longer a matter of “talking things out.” There are fundamental differences in how you perceive the world, that stand at odds with each other.

4. The conversation no longer flows.

One telltale sign of a healthy friendship is flowing conversation. In fact, a deep conversation is one of the best benefits of friendship! If you find awkward pauses stalling your chats, and can no longer sink into a natural rhythm of conversation, this may be a sign of your faltering friendship. 

5. You feel drained after interacting with them.

It requires a lot of your mental energy to be present with this friend, as you have to constantly stay on top of conversation topics, and put on an inauthentic mask. You aren’t able to relax in their presence, and feel that every moment is placed underneath a microscope. After hanging out with this friend, you are in desperate need of a big, fat nap. 

6. You pretend to be your old self when with them.

If you are putting on a fake persona in order to appeal to your friend, it’s likely you’ve already outgrown them. You should be able to authentically engage with a true friend. Constantly wearing a mask is exhausting, and provides you, and your friend, with no benefits. There’s a reason your old self is your old self. You left them in the past, to embrace the new you! 

7. Your values are no longer aligned.

Fundamental differences regarding values can be an irreparable sign that your friendship is near its close. It’s hard to open up to someone who sees the world in a completely different way than you. It doesn’t mean their perspective is superior or inferior; you just absorb information through different lenses based on your individual life experiences. And that’s perfectly okay! 

It’s hard to let someone exit your life who once meant so much to you. However, holding on to the past will only drag you down. As people ebb in and out of your life, it’s important to cherish them in the present moment. You can’t rely on “forever” when it comes to friends; their impact may be momentary, but powerful. This doesn’t invalidate the strength of the bond you once shared. Different people are often meant for different portions of your life. And if you happen to chance upon a forever friend, then you are blessed beyond all measures.


Written by: Brianna Rauchman


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