3 Signs of a One-Sided Friendship

Girl sneering while being shown friend's engagement ring

Friends are a great thing to have, especially as you grow up. Your closest friends tend to form during your adolescence or during childhood, but you can definitely find new friends during young adulthood, and beyond. You can count on a good friend for support and understanding if you're struggling. If your household is dysfunctional, or if you’re struggling emotionally, sometimes the only people you can turn to when you need help are friends. And of course, you’d do the same for them. However, what should you do when your friendship with someone always seems one-sided? I am here to help you identify the signs of one-sided friendships.

The first sign of an unbalanced relationship is that your friend will always choose someone else over you, even if you had plans together first. For a long time, I considered someone to be my best friend because we did almost everything together. Our homes were 15 minutes apart. 

She told me that of all of her friends, she was the most able to relate to me. Both of us were fans of Justin Bieber. Unlike her other friends, we never got into drama or were loud in class. We seemed to understand each other quite well. However, every time I turned around, she was cancelling our plans for one of her other friends. The fact that she secretly disliked them, or so she said, but was always willing to drop our plans for them really hurt. It took me about a year to realize this was a one-sided friendship before I decided to let go. 

Secondly, you can tell if you are in a one-sided friendship by how the other person makes you feel. You want people around you who make you feel good about yourself. I didn't feel good about myself when I was with my friend. She had moments when she seemed to be supporting me and my decisions, but she also knew exactly how to shoot me down. There were times when she didn't have to say anything - all she had to do was choose someone else over me for one reason or another. One time she laughed because her friend pointed out I didn't have a car and they wouldn't come pick me up so I could get to Chipotle with them. 

As an eighteen-year-old living in a hotel, I didn't have time to learn how to drive. Any real friend would've instantly defended me. They both knew I didn't have a house and things were difficult for me. So why would they try to make me feel worse about my situation? My friend understood I would never have made her feel that way if the roles were reversed, but she wanted to fit in. The attention she sought when she was around them was more important than being herself and showing support to a friend in need.

The third sign of a one-sided friendship is when they seem jealous of you. My friend was heavier than me. When she was around her other friends, they always glared at me whenever the topic of weight came up, considering I was a smaller person. Maybe they were jealous, but their stares were hurtful. I did not see the appeal they saw in me. My opinion of myself was completely different. I only saw room for improvement within myself. I didn't think I was better than them. Seeing them as friends, I just wanted them to accept me the same way I accepted them. I knew we were all created differently. Every one of them was unique. I don't miss that group of "friends" because they tore me down, instead of embracing me. When I walked into the room, I didn't intend to make them feel any worse about themselves. I deserve friends who do the same.

My friend specifically told me I would be a crazy adult because I grew up in a sheltered home. She said I wouldn't be a writer; I didn’t have what it takes. I was a "shut-in" as a child, so she believed I would be this wild girl doing everything I shouldn't be doing. As a 22-year-old, I am hardly the person she said I would be. Since I'm not a people person, I never imagined myself becoming a party person. She wanted that for me. I never wanted that. Quiet and weird is who I am. It is better for me to be in the house behind my computer screen rather than going out and doing something I don’t want to do. 

As much as I miss having lots of friends and that extra support, I am perfectly fine with my boyfriend and family being my backbone during tough times. When you realize that you are the only one trying to keep the friendship alive, it's time to let them go. No matter what you do for this person, you should not be wrapped up in a friendship that feels one-sided. You aren't really appreciated until you're gone, as they say. If you see these signs in your friendship, let them go and wait for your true friend to come to you. You will find friends again, but don't force it. Instead, enjoy the company and support your family, significant other, or even yourself! 


Written by: Audre Arnett

Instagram: @infinityaudreee

4 comments


  • Autumn Damron

    I had a bestfriend awhile back we were friends since 3rd grade and just stopped being friends in 8th grade. I’m a freshman in high school now in a different school thriving without her toxicity. She would always make me buy her stuff she wanted since she was not the best in financial part of life. When I got in trouble for spending all my child support on her she got mad at me and wouldn’t talk to me for awhile. We always argued and fought we dated once and I broke up because j became a Christian and it didn’t feel right for me to date a girl. Plus she wasn’t the best girlfriend to me. She would blame me for stuff and always always got mad when I had plans with other friends or family members. We stopped being friends after I was accused of being Homophobic for being Christian. I’m NOT Homophobic I may not believe in her values but I never put her down. I feel alot better with her out of my life. I have friends that are kind and real to me they don’t lie and are honest and trustworthy they also respectmy decisions. I am no longer dealing with my servere depression it is now a low score. I am doing good in school now too. My friends are very kind and help me when I need it. I’m doing a lot better now and I’m proud. I’m already a year and 1 month free of self harm and a few months free of suicidal thoughts. I’m proud and everyone tells me I should be.


  • Autumn Damron

    I had a bestfriend awhile back we were friends since 3rd grade and just stopped being friends in 8th grade. I’m a freshman in high school now in a different school thriving without her toxicity. She would always make me buy her stuff she wanted since she was not the best in financial part of life. When I got in trouble for spending all my child support on her she got mad at me and wouldn’t talk to me for awhile. We always argued and fought we dated once and I broke up because j became a Christian and it didn’t feel right for me to date a girl. Plus she wasn’t the best girlfriend to me. She would blame me for stuff and always always got mad when I had plans with other friends or family members. We stopped being friends after I was accused of being Homophobic for being Christian. I’m NOT Homophobic I may not believe in her values but I never put her down. I feel alot better with her out of my life. I have friends that are kind and real to me they don’t lie and are honest and trustworthy they also respectmy decisions. I am no longer dealing with my servere depression it is now a low score. I am doing good in school now too. My friends are very kind and help me when I need it. I’m doing a lot better now and I’m proud. I’m already a year and 1 month free of self harm and a few months free of suicidal thoughts. I’m proud and everyone tells me I should be.


  • Shar

    This truely spoke to me one of my friends made me feel so bad about myself for so long. She gas lighted me and would manipulate what I wanted and would not hear me. After she moved she didnt contact me she just left and not going to lie i took it like she was soo mean as if i helped her pass her time while she lived around my home. Years later she came out of now where and showed up at my home with her child and was so excited to see me it was literally 3 years later. I let her back in like a dummy and what did she do 6 months later she studied my life and then pressure me to break up with my husband and when i wouldnt she disappeared and made up that i was trying to hook her up with my neighbor which by the way he didnt want any relationship with her. She ended up manipulating her way to another guys life and disappeared on me again which is totally fine because the trash too its self out. I learned sometimes you need to see people who they are and advocate for yourself and now what you want. I am a shy person at times but as i am getting older i see i need to compromise with friend and be on a team if its not than not work the friendship


  • Raudah DJALIA

    I have been feeling so bad about what my bestfriend was doing she always remind me that I’m a looser as In if she buys something new she will be like it’s only u remind tho I don’t know if u can afford it


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