How Therapy Made Me a Better Lover

Therapist talking to client

A few years after ending a toxic relationship, I met someone who is now my partner of almost a year and a half. From watching my parents’ marriage fall apart, to being in an unhealthy relationship of my own, this happy pairing was new to me. I was not used to expressing my feelings without negative consequences. This was also around the time I started therapy to help me become a better person for myself and my partner.

Being able to communicate better with my partner made me feel a lot safer around him in general. I feel as though I can express my feelings in a comfortable environment without being punished for it. My partner also feels safe around me because I am providing him with the same treatment I want in return.

My therapy also helped my partner become a better lover because he is able to understand what I am going through, and help me through it. Being able to provide that mutual support helped us become more intimate. Communicating my thoughts and feelings helped him understand my needs and provide those for me.

This ability to communicate properly with your partner increases trust. Effective communication makes it easier for your partner to go to you for anything which, in turn, positively affects your relationship. Knowing that I would share my thoughts and feelings with my partner helped him trust me more, while knowing that he was willing to listen made me trust him more.

Connection comes from human interaction. We feel more connected to our partners when we can easily convey our needs and feelings in a safe environment. When I shared my feelings and thoughts it made my partner feel more connected to me, and vice versa. The more you communicate with your partner, the closer you two can become. Communication has helped my partner realize when I need to be left alone, and when I need support. Knowing this helps him be a better partner by offering the support I need when I need it.

I can count on my partner to know who I am because I communicate better. Knowing who I am helps him understand how I will react in certain situations. Since I have overcome difficulties with communicating, my partner has also learned and benefited. My openness makes him less fearful about communicating with me. 

Communicating is one of the most important aspects of a relationship. Without healthy communication, a relationship can easily fall apart or become toxic. Becoming a better communicator is not only beneficial for romantic relationships, but for your relationships with yourself, and also friends and family. Through therapy, I was able to transform my personal relationships, and discover these new parts of myself. 

By: Sydney Karlos

Instagram: @sydkarloss

1 comment


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