Have You Outgrown Your Relationship?

Relationships come and go like the wind. There is no guarantee that you will stay with the same person forever! Does that mean you cannot find true love? Absolutely not. Discovering love is always a great feeling, even if it doesn't work out in the end. That doesn’t invalidate the time you shared together. Relationships teach you so many things about yourself and the world around you. They teach you how you want, and deserve, to be treated. They teach you your worth, your boundaries, and your expectations. What happens when one person doesn't provide the type of relationship you need in your life? I am here to help you recognize the signs you have outgrown your relationship.

A good sign that you've outgrown a relationship is when you realize that you prefer spending time with yourself over spending time with them. While we all need alone time, you should want to spend quality time with the person you love. You may notice a divide growing between you and your partner, as you much prefer spending time exploring your own interests, over spending time with them. Quality time may seem more like an obligation, than a desire. This is not fair to your partner, who will definitely feel the effect of not being wanted. It’s much lonelier to feel alone in a relationship, than alone while single. At this point, you may want to reevaluate your relationship, and consider letting them go. 

It’s also important to notice if you are always irritable with your significant other, despite how kind they are being. Do you never seem to have a peaceful moment with them? Are you always agitated and annoyed by what they do or say? It is important that you listen to what your significant other has to say. If you find yourself resenting your partner or wanting to pick fights over nothing, it could be your gut telling you it’s time to move on. Your partner should be able to make you laugh and smile. If you notice you are not interacting positively with this person, then it may be time to let them go, so that someone else can enjoy or listen to what they have to say.

The third and final sign that you've outgrown a relationship is when you no longer find them attractive at all on an emotional or physical level. Now, this doesn’t mean you’re not allowed to have off-days (or weeks), or to be grossed out when they fart too loud. That’s completely normal! Overall, however, your partner should appear attractive to you, like someone you want to connect with intimately and emotionally. Neither their physical appearance nor their personality should utterly disgust you. You may have lost interest in them if you are constantly annoyed when they come near you or touch you. Your significant other deserves to feel good about themselves both inside and out. When you and your partner are together, they shouldn't feel uncomfortable or unwelcome. Once you catch the “ick” for your significant other, it is a hard thing to shake. It may just be a sign that you are not meant for each other. 

If you are experiencing any of these problems in your current relationship, it may mean that you’ve outgrown your partner, and vice versa. It is not fair for this person to be in love with someone who no longer feels the same emotions. The pain of ending it now will be far less than ending it in the future. Someone else may absolutely love this person, and they deserve to find each other. You also deserve to find someone who ignites your light.  By letting your old partner go, you will both be able to find new people…or enjoy being single! You deserve happiness just as much as everyone else! 

Written by: Audre Arnett