We’ve all been there. It starts out with enthusiastic replies. You can’t keep them off your mind, and they reciprocate the same energy! Texting all day, calling all night...when suddenly, the vibe shifts. And you know when it shifts. Their once emoji-filled texts have dwindled down to the bare minimum “wyd”; hour long facetime calls disappear into thin air. You are left clinging onto the hopeful vision of the past, slowly falling down a steep slope, until one day, there are no more messages. And no closure, either.
The modern phenomena of “ghosting” leaves so much to the unknown. It defies our innate human curiosity to know why something went wrong. Left in the shackles of our own minds, we can create a million possible scenarios. Was I not pretty enough? Was there another girl?
My best tip for avoiding this unfortunate scenario is addressing it head on. Once you sense a change in energy, tell your partner/hookup/fwb how you feel. Only two possibilities could follow: 1) They want to end things. 2) They want to work on things. However, once the issues are brought to light, there is no more wondering “what if?”. The potential unknowns are the worst part of being ghosted.
If you suspect you are currently being ghosted, it’s time to take a stand; you deserve a partner who openly communicates and respects your standards! Here are 6 signs that you are about to get ghosted, so you can protect your precious heart.
1. They take hours (or days) to respond.
It’s not difficult to send a simple reply. “Busy” doesn’t excuse ignoring you for hours, or days, on end. This is often one of the first signs of a potential “ghosting”. Instead of waiting in agony for their reply, be straight up about the situation! You deserve to live your life beyond the boundaries of every message left on “delivered”.
2. They stop responding with personality and excitement.
When long, emoji-filled texts suddenly dwindle into a passive “hey”, you know something is up. This transition can happen slowly over time, or seemingly overnight! Either way, you must address the shifted energy, or else you will be left wondering “why?” and “what if?’.
3. They always bail on you for their buddies.
In any relationship, you deserve to be treated as a priority. Your time is valuable. Your energy should be respected. If they consistently bail on plans for their friends, it’s a sign that things are quickly headed south.
4. They stop initiating plans.
This one’s kind of obvious. If you feel like you’re towing the entire relationship on your back, it’s time to seriously reevaluate things. A relationship should be a 50-50 split.
5. They keep you a secret.
If you are being hidden from their friends, families, and social circle, then there’s a pretty big chance things won’t work out. The right partner will display your relationship, loud and proud, with no regrets! Secrecy is not the foundation for a healthy relationship.
6. They act distant in person.
This one is the real kicker. Some people are inherently poor texters; I understand that! But if their vibe is off in real life, you know something is about to go down. Try asking your partner if something is bothering them, or if they are happy in the current relationship. Knowing the truth will set you free from the pain of being ghosted!
Ghosting is such a modern-day problem, and can have horrible effects on your self-esteem. Don’t give your partner the power to destroy you. Ask questions before it is too late. If they express that they no longer want to be in the relationship, you know you’ve done all you can. And one day, there will be the person who stays, who tries, and who deserves your beautiful soul!
Written by: Brianna Rauchman