To Break Up or Not to Break Up, That Is The Question

graphic, photograph of couple ripped in half



Cuffing season is rapidly approaching, and the pressure is officially on. As single people perfect their Tinder profiles, those in relationships cling tightly to their precious companions. And while it’s comforting to have your costume partner and snuggle buddy on lock, these are not solid reasons to stay in a crumbling relationship. 

This is not me telling you to go through a breakup. If you’re in a healthy, loving, and stable relationship…good for you! Go bask in your pheromones and enjoy the ride. However, if you’re beginning to feel that breakup birdy chirping in your brain, and can’t decide what to do, then this article is for you! 

If you lost all trust/respect…BREAK UP!

Once the trust is gone, it’s basically a downhill spiral. Don’t trap yourself in a situation where you constantly have to question your partner’s intentions and integrity. It’s not healthy for either of you. 

If your values and long-term goals don’t align…BREAK UP!

Love is nice and all, but if there is actually 0% chance your relationship will work long-term, there’s no use in prolonging the inevitable. Doing so will actually make it a whole lot more painful for both parties. 

If the energy is one-sided, even after you communicated your concerns…BREAK UP!

If your partner is mentally and physically checked out, and they continue to be distant even AFTER you express your concerns…just run. Don’t stay in a relationship due to a sense of obligation or a long shared history. A relationship requires effort in the present moment. Once that consistent energy is gone, all is lost. 

If the communication feels off recently…WORK ON IT!

It’s impossible to remain on the same page 24/7. Relationships ebb and flow; you grow closer at some points, and more distant at others. Rocky communication is not a reason to break up! Set aside time to express your concerns and needs in a calm environment. Share your feelings without making accusatory statements. This is definitely a problem you can work through, and not a dealbreaker!

If your sex life hit a rut…WORK ON IT!

In any relationship, intimacy issues are bound to unfold. Whether it’s caused by mismatched sex drives, boredom, insecurity, or hormonal imablances, there are solutions! Exploring other forms of intimacy (snuggling, romantic spa nights, massages) is a great way to reconnect emotionally and sexually (the two often go hand in hand!). However, if you or your partner are facing mental health issues, hormonal dysregulation, or sexual dysfunction, it’s important to seek out medical help for the best outcome. 

If you feel bored/uninterested…WORK ON IT!

In a long-term relationship, sparks are not gonna fly 24/7. Now, it’s your right to leave if something just isn’t doing it for you anymore. However, you might just be walking away from a really healthy and comfortable love. Try shaking up routines to reignite that fire. Plan a weekend getaway, go to new and exciting restaurants…anything to restore fresh energy into your relationship. Being with someone takes work - if you give up when you’re bored, nothing will ever pan out in the long run. 

At the end of the day, only YOU know what’s right for you. Not your mom. Not your best friend. Not even your partner. Listen to your intuition, take time to make a thoughtful decision, and prioritize your health and happiness. You deserve a relationship that lifts you up, and motivates you to be a better version of yourself. Your heart knows when a relationship feels right…listen closely, and you’ll discover all the answers you need. 

Written by: Brianna Rauchman

Instagram: @briannarauchman


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