It’s a record stuck on repeat. You see the signs wherever you go: that park you had your first date, your fav yogurt shop…the list goes on. As “what-ifs” flood your mind, you wonder how things may have turned out differently. It takes effort (a lot of it!) to fight through the tough times. Luckily, I’ve compiled a list of tried and true tips to help you stop obsessing over your ex.1. Make yourself too busy to have thoughts.
Idleness breeds anxiety/depression. Period. Keep your mind and body active, and you’ll be way too tired to even think about your ex! Start a side hustle, pick up a new hobby, go to the gym, or get crafty with it!2. Out of sight, out of mind.
It may be cliché, but it’s oh so true. BLOCK THEM. If their name is constantly popping up on your phone, it’s kinda hard to forget about them. While you’re still healing, cut off all contact, and stow away their jackets, pictures, and other cherished mementos.3. Allow yourself to feel ya feelings.
Cry. Journal. Cry again. Sleep. Eat. Talk. Cry. Whatever you need to do…do it. If you bottle up your emotions, you’ll stop yourself from truly healing. I wholeheartedly recommend a good shower sob. You can’t even tell the difference between your tears and the water!4. When in doubt, write it out.
Disclaimer: this does NOT mean writing a text to your ex. You’re broken up…there’s nothing really left to say. HOWEVER, journaling how you feel, or writing a pretend letter to your ex can be really cathartic. It allows you to truly understand and accept your emotions.5. Start planning your OWN future!
In a relationship, you often plan the future together. And that’s great and all…until everything falls apart. Then, you’re left questioning what the hell you’re actually supposed to do. Well…get planning! Find new goals, both personal and professional, to pursue as you build a life for yourself.6. Talk it out with trusted people.
When you're deep into a relationship (especially a toxic or codependent one), it seems like your life revolves around one person. So when you break up, you’re totally lost. Recenter yourself and find some perspective by leaning on your loved ones. They only want what’s best of you, and their advice may be super enlightening! If anything, it’s nice to have someone listen to you vent and cry.
Your ex is your ex for a reason. Keep pushing forward, and remind yourself why you broke up! Your ex will always be part of your story. The reminders may never fully disappear. And that’s okay! However, there are actionable steps you can take to lessen the toll, and to rediscover your truest self again.
Written by: Brianna Rauchman