5 Hidden Signs You Have a Bare Minimum BF

Girl outside looking at watch

The bare minimum. Aka the modern day Prince Charming. In our modern culture, we often praise men for doing the very least. Your bf checks up on you? He’s SUCH a keeper! No, that’s actually common courtesy. As we grow to accept behavior such as ghosting, indifference, and overall sh*ttiness, the bare minimum seems like an unattainable ideal. Below, I’ve listed 5 tell-tale signs you’re currently tolerating a bare minimum boyfriend. 

1. You feel anxious about your relationship 24/7. 

That nervous pit of anxiety swelling in your stomach? Yea, that’s not normal or healthy. When your boyfriend ignores you, ghosts you, and basically acts like he couldn’t give a damn, anxiety is a rational reaction! One text a day is not enough to sustain a healthy, functional relationship. You’re not crazy. You are just suffering from a bare minimum bf. 

2. You fear being too clingy. 

Because wanting to talk to your bf every day is insane, right? And needing quality time twice a week is a lot to ask? Girl, do you hear yourself? He is stringing you along like a little puppet. You deserve a partner who is actually excited to reconnect with you every day, who puts effort into planning fun activities together. Desiring attention is not clinginess. You are tolerating his toxic attitude! 

3. You always make excuses for his behavior. 

He’s so stressed from work! He’s had a hard day! His mother didn’t love him enough! Uh…ok? We all have baggage. If he can’t prioritize your needs, he simply isn’t ready for a serious relationship. At all. 

4. You find yourself dreaming of “what-if’s.”  

*Cue “Better Man” by Taylor Swift* If only he complimented you more, wasn’t so jealous, asked how your day was, surprised you with little gifts, expressed his emotions…the list goes on. 

5. You clicked on this article. 

Yea, this one pretty much speaks for itself. A little (or not so little?) part of you acknowledges that you are tolerating the bare minimum. Perhaps you feel like this is as good as it gets, or like you deserve a half-ass kinda relationship. Please listen to me when I say that this is NOT true love, and there is way more out there for you. 

Love is not enough to sustain a healthy and functional relationship. If your bf can’t provide anything beyond the bare minimum, it may be time to reevaluate the relationship. This doesn’t mean you have to break things off ASAP. However, it definietely warrants a discussion as to why your needs aren’t being met, and how to find a mutually beneficial solution!

Written by: Brianna Rauchman

Instagram: @briannarauchman



  • Sophia Leo

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  • Marina

    I feel like signs 1 and 2 are more applicable for someone you are getting to know/just started dating than for an actual boyfriend. This covered the worse case scenario, but a serious boyfriend can text you everyday and have quality time with you often and that can still not be enough. Like, texting and quality time IS the bare minimum. I’m struggling because my boyfriend is supportive and there for me, but sometimes it does feel like he is too comfortable in our relationship and doesn’t put extra effort to surprise me, plan dates, send me gifts. Maybe I’m making excuses for his behavior, but he is in his 3rd year of med school working at the hospital all day and we live a 3-hour-drive apart. Its tough to really understand whether he is not trying hard enough or whether this is a rough patch we gotta get through.

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